do you ever feel as if your voice isn’t being heard? do you find yourself saying yes when inside you are screaming no? do you find yourself agreeing with other people’s opinions because you can’t be arsed to deal with the conflicts that you know may arise? You find your diary is filled with events that you don’t actually want to go to? If yes, read on…
I have been there. I used to be a people pleaser. Agreeing to go places and do things I didn’t actually want to do because it felt easier than saying no., I didn’t realise it then but I was betraying myself. I was putting everyone else around me first rather than prioritising my needs and wants. Some may say, ah but that’s selfish. Is it? When you agree to do something, you don’t really want to do you end up feeling resentful. I actually said this to my 10-year-old the other day. He wanted me to play rugby. I wasn’t in the mood. I love my children to bits but I explained to him that I ha been playing rugby for nearly two hours an that I needed some time for me. I explained that if I was to continue playing rugby with him my heart wouldn’t be in it and I would end up feeling resentful that I hadn’t put myself first. I just wanted five minutes to sit down and have a cuppa. He listened and said OK, but will you play with me later? Yes, I said.
I remember the first time I spoke up for myself as if it was yesterday. I remember because it was such a shock to my system. My ex-husband had asked me to do something, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I said no. I remember feeling empowered. Wow, where did that come from? A week earlier I had had an Access Bars taster session up in Newcastle and something had shifted for me. I can’t explain what ‘it’ was but it felt powerful. My life from that point spiralled. Not long afterward we separate & later divorced. I didn’t want to go through the courts as I didn’t feel I was strong enough to do so so we settled the finances and child arrangements out of court. From that first moment of finding my voice I carried on. Was it scary? Fuck yeah. I have been guided over the years to do things outside of my comfort zone which have enabled me to continue to find my voice and share it. Starting a YouTube channel brought up all sorts of fears. Who would listen to me? Who would want to hear what I have to say? Thankfully, a few people did, then a few more. Write a blog, write a book. I was invited as a guest on a local radio station, later offered my own slot. Unfortunately, that only lasted four weeks due to my content not fully being appropriate, specifically ayahuasca and mushrooms. It was an amazing learning curve, and one which I thoroughly embraced, I loved choosing songs to go with my topics I was talking about. Aliens was accompanied by Life on Mars, the dr Who theme, you get the picture.
I feel drawn to share my stories and experiences with others through a variety of channels, blogs, YT, Facebook and the national media. I have an amazing supportive community online who have cheered me on along the way. I don’t think I could have actually one all of this without them so a huge shout out to those in Consciousness Arising who have been with me through my journey.
Why do I feel it’s important to find your voice?
Because of the impact it has on others. Some you may know, others you may pass in the street and give them a compliment or greet them with a morning. As you begin to open up to others about who you truly are, your wants, needs and desires, it seriously changes your life. Opportunities that you never thought possible start to come in. Telling people who you are, your dreams and visions connect you with others and they remember you for it. Speaking from a place of love, from your heart is very different to just being honest. If anyone has seen Married at First Sight Australia recently (don’t judge me lol) one lady on there was very honest, but so mean to this man who was meant to be her husband. Even the psychologists pulled her up on it. She was expressing from a place of pain, but that doesn’t mean it is ok to be mean. You feel the pain, work through it then speak out. If you feel you are going to say something in the spur of the moment, take some time to breathe and reflect.
Speaking your truth and finding your voice for me is something I am very passionate about, especially when it comes to women. I hear so many stories from women saying they don’t feel heard, by loved ones, by authorities, by online communities.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this
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