It is only this year that I became aware of the term spiritual bypassing.
“Spiritual bypassing is defined as using one’s spirituality to avoid facing unresolved issues either on a personal, interpersonal or systemic level. The term was made popular in the 1980’s by the late John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist who observed the phenomenon in his own spiritual community” https://mindworks.org/blog/spiritual-bypassing-how-to-avoid/
Essentially using spirituality to avoid, suppress, or escape from uncomfortable issues in life. The number of times over this last year that I have heard people say, “I’m so tired, it must be the energies” or “I’m really angry, it must be the energies” This is a form of spiritual bypassing. There is energy all around us, all of the time. Some days we may feel angry, some days we may feel sad, some days we may feel full of joy. I do believe the planets and the moon have some sort of effect on us. Generally, I always wake up around 3/4am with a Full Moon. Depending on which sign the moon is moving into may depend on which area of my life is coming into focus at that time. However, the energies of this world impact us all differently and they are not a reason for people to not accept personal responsibility for their actions and behaviours.
Maybe it’s not the energies. Maybe it is you. Maybe you need to sit with your own shadow and get to know it and appreciate it. Maybe you need to accept that you can be moody or angry or jealous at times. Maybe you need to learn to accept who you are as a person without blaming the energies for your demeanour that day.
Underlying spiritual bypassing is pain. Pain is not comparative on any level. We all feel it at times. When we begin to feel uncomfortable with our feelings and attempt to suppress them instead of embracing them, we are not allowing ourselves to feel. We may not feel comfortable when others share their feelings with us, so we dismiss their feelings too. We may tell others that they aren’t as enlightened as we are so obviously can’t feel the energies. Seriously!
When I first began my foray into the spiritual world, I bought a book called Teach Yourself How to Meditate. After reading the first chapter telling me I needed to sit in silence, I threw the book across the floor. No way was that happening. I got annoyed at Kari Samuels for being a happiness coach one day, shouting you can’t be happy all of the time at the YouTube clip. I came across the term toxic positivity and was pleased it wasn’t just me who couldn’t be positive all of the time. Life is about polarities. We have to experience all sides. The spiritual community, along with everything else, is seeing a shake up right now and a division between those who are awake and those who are aware.
All of us can meditate, believe in angels and crystals, spirit guides and practise yoga. We can practise mindfulness, gratitude and all the beautiful things to do with spirituality. Yet how many of us are willing to face our inner demons, to do our shadow work, to sit with the pain within ourselves and learn to transform that pain into power? Heading into the dark void and not knowing at what point you will emerge but having this strong knowing that you eventually will. Our journeys aren’t meant to be pretty. They are messy, teary and exhausting at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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