It’s interesting how life turns out isn’t it? When we are younger, we are taught that life will be perfect once you have a house and a mortgage, a husband, kids, a career. I had that then life changed. My friend passed over, I got divorced and entered the realm of shared parenting. I became self-employed and had to rely on myself for an income. Rents went up, bills went up. I decided to leave my rental to live in a caravan. It felt freer, even though it stayed in one place. I was judged for choosing this life as it wasn’t ‘normal’. Not by those I know, I hasten to add, but those I didn’t know. Strangers, who at the end of the day have no idea what my life is like. I moved to Scotland for a fresh start. It lasted 9 weeks in a community before I chose to walk away from a toxic situation.
I have spent the last four weeks as a nomad, again. I have to say it is much easier being nomadic in the summer than the winter. Over the summer I got to hang out in a tent in people’s fields, camped and could sit outside, go wild swimming and have fires. Over the winter there is certainly less of that. It is more about hibernating. I have airbnbed, stayed with friends and family and in hotels. I am meeting lots of interesting people from all walks of life. There is certainly something liberating about not knowing where you are headed next or what is round the corner. I am sure the idea of this may scare some people. Not having the security of a house or home, living off the hoof. I was chatting to the receptionist in the place I am staying, telling her I’m too old for this type of life. At twenty years older than me she laughed and shook her head.
Living without a house is different. I don’t have a kitchen to make all the wonderful Yule goodies I would love to make. I see videos of Yule logs, gingerbread men and simmering pots on a stove full of oranges, cinnamon sticks and nutmeg. I can smell it now. I know by this time next year I will be in a place I have dreamed of and that right now my journey has taken me down this path. I have fond memories already of the last few weeks. Playing pool for several hours in a pub in Dumfries, singing karaoke and dancing like no one was watching, visiting Cairn Holy and reconnecting to the land, chanting words which seemed to make no sense but resonated on a cellular level. I have taken time out to read and to write again. I am enjoying time spent in my own company and writing down plans for 2023. I have big dreams and next year feels like the year many of them will come true. It feels like I have been given this time to reflect and recharge, ready for what is to come.
Wishing you a blessed Winter Solstice x